As I Am Man
by MyCharmedLeaf
Summary: A continuation of Disguise Thou Art A Wickedness. Emma attempts a date and Regina finds that Emma is not the only one coveting attention from the Mayor. Swanqueen.


Ruby didn't look up from her perch at the counter when the entrance bell chimed, a text conversation she was having, gripped her attention. Her wolf senses stretched out subconsciously, identifying the customer, and auto pilot kicked in.

She hit send on a reply text before getting up to prepare a fresh batch of coffee. Reaching into the drawer under the counter, she took a scoop of expensive fine grade coffee, the one that was procured and reserved for a single patron of the diner. It's very existence laid testament to the fact that her elderly grandmother had a soft spot for this particular patron.

In return, Granny's diner was the only establishment in Storybrooke able to boast that it's apple crumble contained organic, locally grown, honey crisp apples. Of course, this fact was not exactly something celebrated publically, given the small mindedness of the local townsfolk, but Eugenia insisted to her granddaughter, that it was said apples that gave the crumble it's superior taste.

Her apron pocket vibrated and she sneaked a quick look at her phone screen before heading out to serve the freshly prepared coffee. It was this distraction that meant she was almost halfway to the table before her confused eyes registered sight of this most recent customer.

 _What the…?!_

Her eyebrows furrowed and she blinked a few times as if the clearing of her eyes could change what they saw.

 _It can't be…_

She extended her wolf senses again…

 _Hmmm…If it moves like a former evil queen, and smells like a former evil queen and sits at a former evil queen's favorite table…but looks like a roguish pirate…it is…a former evil queen, right?_!

Approaching the table, she set down the steaming mug, her eyes locked with the occupant, and in that moment a mischievous smirk broke out across her face. She licked her lips before leaning seductively over the table and planting a quick kiss on the pirate's lips.

"Miss Lucas! What the hell?!" was the spluttered reply.

"Oh come on Killy-bear…don't be like that…" she purred in a mock playful tone.

"Killy-bear…what…huh?" The adorable confusion, mixed with righteous indignation was a sight to behold on the usually arrogant features of Captain Killian 'Hook' Jones. The waitress chuckled heartily - a sound that earned her a patented Evil Queen narrowing of eyes.

The young brunette at least had the decency to attempt contrition.

"I'm sorry, I've just really wanted to do that…like forever… and couldn't let this opportunity pass me by." She winked cheekily. "But…" she shrugged. "Not even a spark of chemistry."

"Well, I suppose at the very least, it shows you have better taste than guy liner and questionable hygiene Miss Lucas!"

Ruby shook her head slightly.

"No, it's not that…I was just curious if I could ever bat for the other team, you know?! Emma always goes on about how amazing the sex is, but I could never get my head around it…and you are like _the_ hottest person in town, so I figure, if kissing you doesn't wake up my experimental side, well nothing will."

"Bat for the other team? You mean to tell me that _you_ are gay?"

Ruby snorted.

"Nope! Straight - as an arrow – as recently confirmed." she said, grinning as understanding registered on the fake pirate's face with her words.

"So…what…but then…how did you know?…Has Snow White been indiscreet enough to tell _everyone_? Did she hold a god damned press conference?"

Ruby held up her hands in a placating gesture.

"Woah…Snow didn't tell me anything Your Majesty. I sensed you when you came in, despite your oddly shapeshifted appearance, which I'm guessing you wouldn't explain to me even if I asked, you can't fool a wolf…and by the way," she leaned in once more " _his_ eyes are blue." With that, the waitress spun on her heels and made her way back to the counter. It left a stunned Regina to contemplate that she had just been termed the hottest person in town.

A slight blush crept across her face at the compliment.

 _And wait, did she just imply that Emma has slept with women?_

She shook the thought by taking a sip of the coffee she had been presented, noting that it was her favorite blend – made just how she preferred it - she should have realised immediately that Ruby had seen through her disguise. Although, it seemed nobody else in the town had, it grated on her a little that the pirate was treated with less distrust than she. In fact, in this guise, more of the townsfolk were even vaguely pleasant towards her.

She sighed.

It had been rather a strange week.

The bulk of it spent masquerading as Hook whilst spending time with Henry - which she was very happy about. She had even grown accustomed to the feel of a cutlass handle against her midriff. But sitting here in the diner, she felt a little out of place in the disguise, and almost wished she had turned down Emma's impromptu breakfast invitation.

She sighed dreamily - thinking back to their kiss.

 _Emma Swan._

 _Emma, whose sweet soft lips had moved so perfectly against hers._

 _Emma, who smiled at her these days with a warm secret smile that she dared to believe was just for her._

 _Emma, whose emotive emerald eyes seemed to promise deep affection and care._

 _Emma, who was now sat across from her, and whose fingers were attempting to click her out of her daydream._

Regina's face flushed red - she hadn't even noticed the blonde arriving.

"That was some daydream you were having!" the Sheriff said smiling. "And seriously Regina, did you _have_ to wear that outfit to breakfast? You're like a four year old with a Spiderman costume."

"But…Henry?" she looked around for signs of her son.

"Is with my parents today…I thought…you know…we could…" her voice trailed off as redness crept up her neck.

The brunette arched an eyebrow.

"Miss Swan, did you intend this to be a date?"

"Yes…No…I mean…maybe, is that okay?" shy green eyes met an amused chocolate pair.

They had not managed a second kiss that wonderful night several days ago - Henry had come back from the car to see what was taking Emma so long. And they hadn't been alone together since. Regina had sadly begun to wonder if it was a cause for regret.

"Well, I suppose you do owe me a kiss..." she teased.

"I do." the blonde nodded enthusiastically. "but...you know...with Peter Parker, not…" she waived a hand in an encompassing gesture of the older woman's attire.

Regina smiled.

"Of course…I'll go into the back and change, no use having the peasants choke on their pancakes at seeing Captain Guyliner morph into the Evil Queen right in front of them."

Despite the levity of the statement, there was a barely perceptible hint of resentment in her voice as she said it.

Emma's hand reached over to gently cover one of hers.

"Hey, you're not the Evil Queen anymore and those of us who lo…um…care…about you, we know that." She soothed. "And plus, way to go with getting the whole Spiderman reference." Emma held up a hand, knuckles out, for a fist bump.

"I did raise a son obsessed with super hero comics," the brunette said haughtily, before conceding and knocking her fist against Emma's with a grin. She recognised it for what it was, the blonde's attempt to lighten the mood.

A mug of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and cinnamon was deposited on the table in front of Emma, and the couple turned to see Ruby sporting a wolfish grin.

"Thanks Rubes." Emma smiled.

"Soooo…I couldn't help but overhear your conversation…" Damned wolf senses Regina thought. "I feel even worse now about before…" She didn't sound like she felt bad in the slightest… in fact… "I never would have kissed you if I'd known you were here on a date…"

A quick hand and supreme magical ability were the only things that stopped her from being sprayed with hot chocolate as it spurted, with some force, from the Saviour's mouth. The playful look on Ruby's face was instantly replaced with a grimace, and Regina noted with satisfaction that the wolf had been unable to avoid the beverage shower.

Before either party could attempt an explanation, they were interrupted by a voice, a few octaves higher than it's usual pitch.

"A date?!"

 _Perfect. Because of course this sitcom of a morning wouldn't be complete without one of the two idiots._

Snow's arms were crossed tightly in front of her chest and her eyes were flashing.

"Excuse us please Red!" she commanded, not even looking at the waitress. Ruby slid away looking a little guilty. "I am so ashamed of you right now, _both_ of you. A woman's heart is not something to be toyed with." She hissed.

Regina stood abruptly – not willing to be lectured. She spared a quick glance to Emma whose expression was unreadable.

"Miss Swan, I suggest you have a conversation with your mother, whilst I go and find a phone booth…"

As she made a bee-line passed a sea of curious stares, she heard a grumbled: "That was Superman!" and her lips turned up a little.

Rounding the corner into the passageway at the back of the diner with haste, she bumped into someone coming out of the bathroom.

A female someone.

With a heavily accented sultry voice.

"Hook, I've been hoping to run into you…"

The Brunette put a magically charged hand up as a barrier to stop yet another unwanted advance.

"Do _not_ even _think_ about it Tinkerbell! I know that you can see through the glamour."

A purple cloud enveloped her and she was herself again.

"Oh Regina, you're no fun." The fairy said, pouting.

"Seriously? Does every woman in this town secretly want to make out with me? And to take advantage of my stupid disguise as a facade in order to do so…"

Tinkerbell averted her eyes.

"Wow..is that the time?…gotta go…its probably mass or something…" she said weakly, leaving at a fast pace.

Regina rolled her eyes and headed back out to the fray. As she neared the table once more she stopped short, trying not to intrude upon the conversation between mother and daughter.

"So she knows that you know that she's her?"

"That's what I said." Emma replied, with all the impatience of someone who has answered the same question repeatedly.

"And you and her…are dating?"

"Trying to…" Emma confirmed.

"And why exactly was she dressed as Hook for your date?"

"She didn't know…"

"She didn't know she was dressed as Hook?"

"No…she didn't know this was a date…" The blonde hunched down as if she were trying to disappear into her chair.

"What?"

"I asked her to meet me for breakfast and I guess she assumed Henry would be here…I was just getting my charming on and confessing my date motives when…this!" she swirled her hand in a frustrated circle by way of punctuation.

"Oh…I see...I'm sorry, I guess…this is really quite a terrible date." Snow patted Emma's shoulder sympathetically. Regina decided it was a polite time to return to the table. Emma's next words kept her feet rooted to the ground.

"It's okay…it was kind of a trial date anyway."

"A trial date?"

"A-huh, what I mean is…being around her, actually flirting with her, whilst she looks like Hook…its easy, I wanted to test how it would be when she was really her, so I thought if we were here without candles and romance, there wouldn't be too much pressure, you know?"

Hot tears pricked at Regina's eyes.

"So, you're not sure if it's Hook you have feelings for or Regina?" Snow questioned softly, voicing Regina's fear.

"What? No, that's not it!" Emma said immediately. "It's definitely Regina I'm in love with." She clamped a hand over her mouth. "See that's it…that is what I'm worried about…I can't even hold it in for your benefit…and she's gonna be there all freaking super hot and Reginary…and she'll look at me with her beautiful brown eyes - that incidentally remain even when she's Hook - and then she'll call me 'Miss Swan' in that sexy melted chocolate voice of hers and I'm gonna blurt out the 'L word' or puddle to the floor like a love sick teenager...

"Oh Emma, you've got it bad."

"That's it? that's what you got for me? No sage motherly advice?"

Regina stood stock still trying to process what she had overheard.

"You should probably pretend you didn't hear that," Ruby whispered in her ear, startling her.

The waitress chuckled and smiled a knowing smile as she passed. If the very public display of adorable affection on Regina's normally perfectly masked face - or the thumping of her heartbeat - at Emma's confession, were anything to go by, she was pretty sure that the blonde wasn't the only one who'd be struggling to keep herself in check.

Shaking herself and schooling her features into a stern look, Regina approached the table and cleared her throat loudly. Matching pairs of awkward green eyes looked up.

She spoke in one of her signature clipped tones.

"Miss Swan, could I have a word with you please? _In private!_ "

She held out a hand and the startled Blonde took it, allowing herself to be led into the back area of the diner.

"Regina I'm…" Emma began an apology, not really quite sure what had angered the Brunette enough to result in her being pulled out back to be chastised. The rest of the apology was silenced by a soft finger pressed to her lips and a soft shushing sound.

"So Miss Swan…I was just wondering…about that kiss you promised me…" Regina said huskily, stepping in close, echoing Emma's prelude to their first kiss. Emma's breathing hitched as soft lips nibbled gently at her pulse point and once again her senses were flooded with that wonderful apple pie scent.

She moaned softly.

"Regina…" she breathed.

"Don't worry, I sealed off this area with magic…nobody is going to interrupt us." Regina purred in her ear.

As hot breath and soft lips caressed her earlobe, Emma's eyes fluttered closed – it wouldn't have mattered, she was totally past the point of concern - the whole Enchanted Forest and their Dalmatian could watch for all she cared.

Regina continued teasing her mercilessly, kissing down her jawline to the corner of her mouth and then back up to her neck and ears, biting lightly in places, and tracing tiny circles with the swirl of a hot tongue. Emma's brain was clouded in desire, her knees began to give a little, and she almost stumbled. There was a deep sexy chuckle before a warm hand on her chest pushed her gently but firmly backwards until she was flush against the wall.

Positioning herself with expert precision, Regina pressed against the blonde, her thigh in just the right place between the Blonde's legs, to feign giving support whilst also making light contact with the younger woman's pelvis.

It earned her a pleasured whimper.

"My my Miss Swan you really are quite responsive aren't you?"

Emma's reply was to clutch the front of the brunette's shirt and pull her into a deep slow kiss, one that they both lost themselves in.

Emma whimpered again. Regina smiled against her lips. She pushed her tongue gently into the blonde's mouth, whilst also shifting her weight slightly so that her thigh made further contact with Emma's sensitive area. The resulting moan made her chest constrict in lust.

She pulled back slightly to catch her breath.

Emma's eyes opened and their eyes met in a chocolate lime swirl of longing.

Lips crashed together once more - desperately. Hands roaming wildly, Emma squeezing Regina's butt and Regina massaging a hand over Emma's breasts - flicking a thumb expertly over the sweet little pebbles there. Fingers found themselves tangled in hair and cupping cheeks, in an epic display of passion to rival their first encounter. Pure...uncapped...desire.

Regina was the one to break the kiss.

She stepped back suddenly and Emma all but slid down the wall to the floor.

"Consider your debt to me repaid Miss Swan, should you desire more of my kisses then you will ask me out on a proper date, with candles and romance, and without the distraction of werewolves or fairies or your interfering mother. Understood?"

Adorable drunken green eyes stared up at her in silent acknowledgement and Regina cursed the weakness in her that caused her to lean in and kiss the tip of the Blonde's nose like a romantic fool.

And then she was gone.

"Oh Emma, you really do have it bad," Emma whispered into the now empty space around her.


End file.
